I'm Not A Stereotype

This is something that I felt needed to be done. This is something that I needed to do for me. A fact that I can't help but feel the need to point this out to some people in my life, even though it should already be obvious. I can't help but feel like I've been slapped in the face. I'm hurt. I guess I'm just like all the rest, huh? Even the crazy fanatics? Can't tell the difference between the fanatics and people like me? Can't tell that with every waking moment I have I try to FIX what was broken by others? I WANT you to see the good! I WANT you to so desperately see what I see! Feel what I feel! This HURTS so much!
Even though right now they may insist with every fiber of their being that they don't hate me and be honest about it, I can't help but have this sinking, dreadful, horrifically awful feeling that they will eventually hate me anyway. Not because of anything that I say or do, but by the negative influences others have over them. I desperately hope this doesn't happen. I was bullied in 6th grade (it was over other stupid things), I will not let it happen again. If it does, I will protect myself and my family. If I have to unfriend them on facebook I will and they will not see my children (if and when I do have kids). I will not let them influence my kids. I have no tolerance for abuse, even if it is disguised as "friendly debate."
This has been hard. Trying to control my emotions over this is so hard. From desperation, to utter sadness and depression, to anger and bitterness. From not caring to caring to much for my own good. From not letting it get to me from struggling to make it let go of me. It's been quite strange... I absolutely did not think it would affect me the way it has. At first I was just miffed, but then I started to think about it. I guess that was my mistake. I've noticed that I tend to think to much about things. But when people you thought would be fellow stereotype breakers, people who would actually help make the world just a little bit of a better place, people you thought worthy of looking up to and then they suddenly seem to turn into the biggest conformists you've ever met, seemingly willing to let others mold them into walking negative stereotypes - It's shocking, horrifying, and extremely hurtful. And then on top of that, the feeling that you could be potentially targeted for possible ridicule, persecution, judgment, and bullying by folks who may not see their actions that way. ... I really hope they prove me wrong. I WANT them to prove me wrong.
I want to sincerely thank you for letting me vent. I desperately needed this. I actually feel a little bit better. Therapists are expensive (I've never been to one, but that's what I've heard and I don't doubt it) and there's not many people in my life I can express my thoughts and feelings about this to without feeling like it will only make things worse and/or really awkward. Thank you so much! I truly appreciate each and every one of you who respect this. <3

And just for the record, I will not divulge any specific info regarding what kinds of "changes" were made and/or who exactly has made them. So please, do not ask. Thank you! ^_^