Shiver Me Timbers

Once upon a time in the vast landscape known as the Pacific Ocean a young lady was fighting for her life. Lady Killigrew, or Lady as she was known to the gentry of England, was kidnapped by Arch-Pirate Beard of Maggots.







Lady Killigrew was the only person known to spin spider webs into lace.




A lace so finely woven it had the strength of the finest sailing material known to any sailor and pirate. Lady was payday.

With Lady in their hands, though not literally as some pirates would have, Arch-Pirate Beard of Maggots could wield anything to his advantage from Europe and the Americas naval fleet.

Maggot gloating in his power paid no attention to his seafaring bearings and lazily ghosted over Mariana Trench, the deepest spot in the ocean at 10,911 meters.



A spot renowned for demons from the deep, namely the mythical fleet of ships captained by Hook-Handed Helen.

No one had actually seen this all female fleet of savory piratesses, 'til now.


They had only heard of Helen’s warrior ways of rescuing the finer gender from the hands of mangy men with ill intent. And she was good at it.

Maggot was hammock larking with lady-lace in his hands while Lady Killigrew was busy sewing new sails made of this remarkable material.


Lady Killgrew looked to the sky as suddenly the clear blue darkened to a wall of grey.



The waters began to stir, circling in a fashion strong enough to knock any scoundrel off his feet.

Lady fell to the deck and quickly caught hold of the lacy sail that was three quarters of the way finished. She wrapped her self up so as to safely hide and protect her self should the ship and all it’s occupants be turned into the ocean. Only Lady knew that the spider web lace was remarkably buoyant. If she found herself at the mercy of the sea her life might be spared.




With regard to no one but her crew and Lady Killgrew, Hook-Handed Helen gracefully appeared, slashing directly into Arch-Pirate Beard Of Maggots belly. “The ghost of death!” boiled Maggots voice. Cowards that they were, Maggots crew dove overboard to avoid the torture that could befall them. This left Maggot to live a life of slavery and perspire over a never ending honey-do-list. (Helen really only inflicted a flesh wound to his belly. She wasn't much for killing a fellow pirate)


Lady Killgrew was soon outsourcing her lace making to India.