Artist Palette Challenge
APC #335 Deborah Zlotsky
The day I was diagnosed with terminal cancer & told I only had a few months to live was the weirdest day of my life. I would say most difficult, or most terrifying, except I was already in shock by that point due to the events leading up to the diagnosis, so the whole thing was just very surreal, at least until later. I am reminded every day what a miracle it is that I am here at all... But I can also never forget that cancer is hard, & scary, & ugly, to say the very least!
This palette reminds me of how somber everyone was right after my diagnosis, coming into my hospital room to visit, speaking only in hushed tones, not laughing or smiling much, somehow even managing to make the beautiful, colorful flower arrangements & stuffed animals filling my room look very dull & depressing & grim... Until I finally got fed up & said, "I'm not dead yet, for Peter's sake!! You're visiting me in the hospital, not at my funeral, so please stop being so serious & start acting like yourselves again!" I told them I needed to laugh & joke around like usual or I'd never have the strength or energy it would require to fight the stupid disease. So they straightened up & my hospital room became bright & pretty instead of gray & painful like this palette, as it had been. Then I was able to pretend the doctors hadn't said I was dying, & that I had every chance in the world at recovery. (Okay, it was a little hard to pretend when they had my family sit down with me & talk about my final wishes, & what I wanted my funeral to be like & such... But most of the time I could, lol.)
Even when things were brightened up for my sake, though, I know that outside of my hospital room, when my family or friends were away from me, they saw things in these colors you've chosen. And on my hardest days, when I couldn't pretend anymore, this is what the world looked like to me, too. You captured it perfectly. I'm very, very sorry you & your family ever had to see this palette. : ( *big hugs*