About This Palette
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Bad Memory - I have a terrible memory for names. I forget essential info about people and then this leads me to be less talkative than I used to be. I have a fear of offending someone by not remembering what they had previously and recently told me. I have trouble remembering physical outdoor places that I have been to before as in rural geography, but not urbanscape. I get lost in the bush easily, so I always stick to the trails and always bring a compass. I always forget at least one thing when I go out the door and have to go back for it. Worried about early onset Alzheimer's Disease.
Duck Paddle - I try to look competent, and capable all the time. People comment on what grace, composure or dignity I have. I prefer to think of myself as overly stoic, yet at the same time I also have a habitual mindset of seeing the best in people often to my detriment. But if you could only see under the surface of the water, you'd see how hard I was paddling just to stay afloat and keep from drowning.
Wild Imagination - My imagination gets the better of me and I attribute negative things to something I must have done. I tend to catastrophize. Thinking that the worst thing has happened, despite my seeing the best in people. (People essentially good - world challenging). I worry a lot about little things, and ruminate about the past. I ask myself questions like: Did I remember to say thank you? Could I have handled that better? My self-esteem suffers as a result.
Dream World - I have a quirky way of thinking about the world. Sometimes I think the dream world manifests itself in my wide-awake state and have a strong sense of déjà vu. I also sometime think, my mind tells me things that are closest to the truth when I dream. So, if I dream that a person has done something "bad," then that colors my perception of them in real life. I sometimes make false associations between my dream consciousness and reality. I confront this cognitive distortion and ask myself, , "How likely is that to be true?" or I ask a close friend if something is "true" or not. So, because of this I am not a spontaneous person, I am a reserved and cautious person. Although spontaneity still does pop out of me from time to time, I am mostly solidly grounded and my head is not in the clouds.
Addictive Nature - I have been an addict. Many years since, I have been addicted to alcohol, cocaine, and other risk taking behaviours. I became clean as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I am no longer an addict, but can still become addicted if I give in to a temptation. I never do. However, I can become obsessed with particular interests. Presently it is colorlovers. I ration my chocolate addiction to approx 200 calories a day.
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