It was Wednesday afternoon, and the queen had come 'round for the second time that week. It wasn't that Abraham particularly disliked the woman, but she was very fidgety and always waving at her for her attention at all the wrong moments. Abraham had just as healthy a fetish for accents as the next person, but after a while, one just wants to sit down in a quiet place and watch the antique road show by oneself for once.

The queen had come down all in a panic to tell Abraham about the werewolves in London. She insisted that Abraham listen to this song she had on CD about it, and it was quite the most annoying song abraham had ever heard.

"Look here," she said to the queen, who was at the moment, doing her odd English breathing, "I really don't like this song. That man keeps howling, in an, albeit, slightly musical way, but it's howling none the less and I think it's very silly. SO you say that there are werewolves in London, but as far as I can see, it doesn't concern you. I mean, what have you got against werewolves anyway? It was the AmeeriCANS that did all that tarring and feathering back in the day."

"Well I just don't see what their lot want in London anyway." Said the queen. "All we have is Kate Moss for heaven's sake. I'm thinking of having them deported to the Black Forest. It sounds just right for them; if a little bit cliché for their type."

"Why would you do something like that?" Demanded Abraham. "You know, the black forest isn't actually black!" Abraham had a great admiration for the Black Forest, and Germany in general. It had always been her dream to take up residence there, but there weren't any houses for sale at the moment. She thought Germany to be a sensible country; all four seasons, and all of them cold. Not like those ridiculous countries where it was always hot and the women wore too much clothing and the men yelled in a lot of funny voices. Abraham simply had no tolerance for such behaviour. Nor was it like those pretentious areas in the North and South Poles, that always stayed winter, simply to prove that they could.

"I know the Black Forest isn't black! Those Forests are in SOOOOth Afrikka. It's just always night there."

Abraham sighed. "Do you have any change?" asked the Queen.

"No." Said Abraham.

"Well...have some." said the Queen, handing her some out of her bag. "You know, it has my face on it."

The Queen was always talking about how her face had happened to end up on Canadian coinage. Abraham constantly reminded her that they would probably melt all the coins down when she died, and make new ones, but this fact didn't seems to give the woman any more sense. Abraham didn't think it was that big of a deal to have ones face on some coins anyway.

"I mean, nobody even likes coins, anyway. People prefer to have paper money, or visa cards, except for the homeless of course. They like their coins, but honestly, are they your target audience? You know animals sometimes eat coins, so do children. Sometimes they even pass them. How can you be proud of something like that?"

It was one thirty, so Abraham turned on the TV and flipped the channels to Antique Road Show.

"Why do we always have to watch this?" whined the queen.

"You don't have to," replied Abraham, "You can just go home."

The show had gotten to a very tense moment concerning the selling of some authentic Victorian lamps, when the queen said "I know! Let's watch that Melissa Etheridge."

"What do you mean Melissa Etheridge? " Demanded Abraham. "She doesn't even have a show! She isn't on tv, except for on those music veeedeeeooos, and you don't want to watch those, do you?"

"Well, surely you have a dvd?"

"No! I do not have a dvd of Melissa Etheridge. Maybe you should take some of your stupid-ass coins and go buy one."

After that, the queen was pretty much silent, except for when she had to talk about this painting because apparently it was of one of her ancestors, and the people were planning on seeling it at auction.

Two weeks later, Abraham got a birthday present from the queen. Consisted of one dvd of a Melissa Etheridge tour and some photographs of the queen, who had, according to the photos, awarded Miss Melissa a title and a bag of change.

My favourite of mine and some sweet palettes by my lovers: