An insane review written by one of The Flash's many adoring fans: Now, I don't know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say "your taste in wine is atrocious". He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red son radiation from his ass. He's that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.


Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fu master of not much, but instead he's the hottest sh** to ever sh** on a plate. You got a power? He'll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He'll light you on fire when you're sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of 'fu** you Batman'. That's Batman.


But THE fu**ing FLASH, my god, my fu**ING GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman's powers are being sucked off by twin super models, and Batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to 'get in on', then The Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that fu**ing hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else's job.